Of Chocolate Frogs, SPEW and Baby-Feeding
by Four Leafed Clove
Summary: Ron's news is exciting. Ginny's news (if you could call it that) was kind of gross. But they all teach Hermione a lesson not even the smartest witch of her age has mastered... Yet :D Harry/Ginny, Ron/Hermione, canon - compliant. For The Original Horcrux.


"Hermione, Hermione, I have somewhere to take you!" Ron said excitedly, bouncing happily on their new leather couch. Hermione rolled her eyes.

"What is it, Ronald?" She sighed, tapping away at her computer. Ron frowned.

"Ronald? Why did you just call me by my full name?" Ron asked. Hermione scowled.

"Because, I'm trying to set up a website on the WWWW and all you can do is pester me! I'm just not interested, sorry Ron, but this is really important and – "No, _this_ is important. It will affect our whole lives, 'Mione," Ron continued. Hermione sighed.

"Honestly, S.P.E.W is just starting to go international and - "

"Please?" Ron begged, "I'll go to the S.P.E.W annual dinners! The balls! Anything!"

"I suppose we could go, if it's really that important," Hermione smiled rolling her eyes. Ron's face lit up in a childish grin.

"Thank you, so much, Hermione!" Ron grinned.

"No problem," She huffed.

C/H#OCO~L~A…T,,E" F/++R O**G!S

Ron dragged Hermione into Honeydukes.

"What is so important? Ron, really, this is unnecessary!" Hermione protested. Ron rolled his eyes.

"You'll love it, Hermione, trust me!" Ron retorted. Hermione sighed.

"If you say so," She muttered, twisting her engagement ring around her fourth finger. Ron lead the way to the counter.

"It's Mr Weasley here," Ron told the teenager who sat at the counter. She looked up, her honey blond hair flowing down her back in twisted curls.  
"Which one?" The girl asked, smiling. Her teeth winked in the hazy sunlight that flittered through the windows.  
"Ronald Weasley," Ron sniffed. Hermione rolled her eyes at her fiancé's antics.

"Honestly, Ron, just because you defeated Voldemort, it doesn't make you famous," Hermione snapped. Ron sighed.

"I know, I know," He mumbled. The girl went red.

"Sorry, Mr Weasley," she blushed. Hermione smiled at her, trying to be friendly.

"Don't worry about it," Hermione advised her, grinning, "He's a bit touchy,"  
"Same with my boyfriend," The girl giggled, "I'm Lucy,"  
"Funny, that," Ron chuckled, "That's the name of my niece,"  
"Lovely," Lucy chirped back. "And yes, I do have the package. Just sign here," She pulled out a clipboard from the desk and put it up on the desk, along with a pen, so he could sign it. Ron winked at Hermione and scribbled down his name in a messy print. Lucy grinned.

"I'll be back in just a second," She informed them, before sliding off the desk chair and hurrying through door marked 'Staff – No other entry,'.

"Ron, honestly, what has got you so excited?" Hermione questioned. Ron grinned and blushed bright red.

"You'll see," He told her, nodding, "There's one for Harry, too."  
"Honestly, you'd think you were harbouring the crown jewels!" Hermione smiled, rolling her eyes. Ron looked secretive.

"It's close enough," Ron smiled triumphantly. Hermione opened her mouth to talk, but Lucy burst in.

"Here it is!" She announced, "Sorry for the wait!" She blushed red before dropping a tiny little package on the desk. Hermione frowned and narrowed her eyes.

"Are you sure this is the right package?" She asked, turning to Ron. The tips of his ears turned a bright maroon red that clashed horribly with his famous flaming red hair.  
"Yup," Ron nodded, handing it to her.

"Definitely," Lucy added.

"Thank you," Hermione smiled politely before letting Ron escort her away.

"Open it! Open it!" He demanded like a small child.

"Alright, calm down!" Hermione snapped. Ron immediately piped down and Hermione tore open the package. She unrolled the layers of bubble wrap and found herself staring into her own face. And Harry's. And Ron's.

"Ahhh!" She let out a small shriek. Her body felt rubbery and her knees weakened.

"It's us, Hermione!" Ron grinned, "Us!"  
"Really, truly? Us?" Hermione repeated, fanning herself. Ron nodded and grinned.

"Truly, Hermione," Ron nodded, "It's us. It's not a prank, 'Mione. It's real."

"We're on chocolate frog cards? Are you kidding me?" Hermione demanded.

Ron could only smile and laugh.

C/H#OCO~L~A…T,,E" F/++R O**G!S

Hermione banged on the Potter's door so hard Ron was becoming afraid it would raise Voldemort back from the dead so he could tell her to be quiet.

"Harry!" She called, "Ginny!" A fiery redhead answered the door, cradling baby James in one arm and holding the door open with another.

"What?" Ginny asked, sounding bored. Hermione shoved Harry's card in her face.

"Look. Look! It's Harry, on a card, and I didn't believe, but Ron, well, he… Can you believe it?" Hermione said, in her shrilly voice she normally saved for rants or exciting times. Ginny's eyes nearly popped out of her head.

"Slow down, Hermione, really. I believe you. Now, do you and Ron want to come in and have some tea? I'll just get Harry to come down, than I guess I can finish feeding James…" Ginny decided. Hermione nodded and Ron grimaced.

"Feeding? Really, Ginny, that's too much information," Ron informed his younger sister, crinkling his nose. Ginny rolled her eyes and laughed.

"You won't be feeling that way soon. It'll be your only way to get a good eyeful of Hermione," Ginny smirked. Hermione blushed crimson and Ron's ears went pink. Ron hurried inside and Hermione tried to laugh, but it resulted in her sounding like a constipated rabbit who was having an asthma attack. Ginny couldn't help but smirk.

Hermione might've been the smartest witch of her age, but not when it came to intercourse.


End file.
